The crap we throw at our partner

Some weeks are tougher than others. When outside stresses put extra pressure on couples, like work, holiday plans and extended family, they can play out within the couple dynamic. Couples often turn on each other instead of banding together and turning on the problem. Your partner is not the enemy, the problem is the enemy, but sometimes the person closest to us gets the brunt of the crap. It is typical that the safest person gets the most dumped on them, but it is not fair or loving. Using your partner as a pressure release valve to bring you back into your window of tolerance causes long term damage if its not addressed and changed. No one likes to be the punching bag of another, especially if they have not done anything to bring it on other than being in the same room as you. Its important to try our best to determine who or what is the cause of the stress inside of ourselves and to treat it like a delicate bird in our hand that we merely want to show to our partner. Otherwise, we end up throwing it at our partner and wondering why they are not as compassionate to us as we’d like them to be.