DIAMOND OR THE FLAW?

Focus on the qualities in your partner that attracted you in the first place. We tend to take them for granted as time goes on.

I call this the diamond/flaw analogy. When we first see a diamond ring, we focus on the brilliance of the diamond, which is probably what draws us to it in the first place; the beauty, the shine. As time goes on, we change our focus; we pay more attention to the flaw, the dirt, the damage. This is a perfect metaphor for a relationship. At the beginning, we pay attention to the brilliance of our partner, to their character, to their stories, to their personality. As time goes on, we tend to focus more on their flaws, on what’s lacking, on what they don’t do or don’t say, on what’s missing. This is unfortunate because all the beautiful qualities that first drew us to our partner are easily forgotten as time goes on. It depends what we choose to focus on, the diamond or the flaws- this is our choice and often determines how happy or unhappy we will be.